Jan 2009
We finally got our keys to the much awaited new flat! We had many friends come for different sessions of house warming and it was great gathering!
Photos of the new home to be furbished later =)
April 2009
Confirmation that I was 5 weeks pregnant! Seriously, we were totally caught surprised cos we decided to start trying for a baby since the gynae told me I have Polycystic Ovary and needs 1-2 yrs to get pregnant due to irregularity in menstrual cycle. Since 2007, I have been put on OC, and so we thought, ok, try now just nice, cos Baby will be born in at least 2 years time and Andy has finished MBA by then.
Seriously, this is the case where God demonstrates that you can plan all you want, but still, it is HIS timing. But Andy was really calm when I told him the test kit showed positive. "Never mind, just sit down, relax and watch the DVD, kit should be correct, cos diffcult to have false positive one lah" So, yah, the two big kids are going to have one small kid of our own, at a very inconvenient time ie: Andy having MBA, we just shifted house, I just changed job..I wondered how were we going to cope mentally and financially
June 2009
3 days before the Church camp, I went home from working in the pharmacy and while taking a shower, I starting bleeding. Andy rushed me to the hospital and I just couldnt stop crying, cos I was so afraid I would miscarry the foetus. I had a terrible first trimester such that I lost 3kg and couldnt eat anything without puking or suffering tummy cramps. So I thought God didnt want me to have this baby afterall. Though the bleeding stopped after 2 days, gynae still think there are risks of miscarriage and ordered total bedrest for 1 week with injection twice weekly and oral tablets daily for at least 6 weeks. My mind was in a whirlpoool: are we going against god by having all these injections? What if the baby is not normal, that's why it is showing signs of miscarriage? I was at a lost. But Andy stood by me "If god wants to take away the baby, no matter what you do, he will take it away. So, just do what we can and commit to god. If it is his will, he will see through this treatment and bless the little one". I really thank his words, god's mercy as well as friends' prayers. God walked with me throughout this tough period and that was the best moments I had journeying with God. My family also made all the differences: dad n mum bought tonics for me and also came to help me, sisters cheered me up with gifts and phone calls. I love the Lims family!
Though it was traumatic especially Andy's parents were not so easy to handle during my entire preganacy, but with all the love I have got from family, friends and Andy, I managed to come this far! The MAC DONALD breakfast cheered me and the little one out throughout the whole pregnancy!My fav branch in Queensway
Nov 2009
Weeks past by and before we knew it Nat is about to be delivered into this world. At 36 weeks, gynae advised to have labour induced since he is worried that given my threatened abortion, the placenta may not be above to support Nat beyond 38 weeks. Instead of risking sudden fetal death, induction at 38 weeks is a safer option.
So from 36- 38 weeks, i go in once a week for heartbeat monitoring and need to chart a sheet of fetal daily movements ie: 10 times of movements a day at around the same time. I tell you, it is scary, cos you keep wondering if the heartbeat is there, whether can Tahan till 38 weeks. Induction made me felt a bit cheated, cos I really want to experience the waterbreaking, caught off surprise kind of feeling. O well, Andy sure dont wish that to happen though. So, off to induction for labour on 18th Nov. I was already on maternity on 16th, since at first gynae said induce on 16th, but when I went in on 16th, he said cervic not ripen yet cant induce. Felt that it was illogical since that was what induction is for, to induce ripening. Later realised it was cos the nurse made a mistake calculating my gestation week, hence, the gynae dare not induce on the day. So, I just keep packing the baby room to keep myself occupied. They call it the nesting instinct. Sounds like a bird huh? I have read everything I could from taking care of the baby to breastfeeding successfully. I am just waiting for the moment.
18th nov 9am, I was induced for labour by inserting a vaginal tablet. Nothing happen till like 7pm. My friend from the Japn honeymoon trip was induced on the same day too, so we were delivery ward room mates! The men went for dinner and breakfast together while us, the poor women stayed in hospital to wait and endure the anxiety of upcoming labour pain.
By 730pm, the pain finally came on. Still bearable, much like menses pain x2. Then the horror came, no dinner for me and with all the laying down, I have backache, gastric pain and menses pain x4-5 by 10pm. I really tried to endure, so I paced up and down the ward and went to loo so often I bet I irritated the lady and her hubby nearest to the toilet =P That day was like the auspicious day lo, everyone in the delivery ward was like giving birth one after another, you can hear what's going on, since only separated by cloth blinds.. gosh, when will Nat be out?
By midnight, I already did my best and did not want to try to be smart alec any longer. Told nurse I need epidural, she was super stunned, but I tell you, I am not going to endure the kind of pain they caused when they measure how much I have dilated by. By midnight it was only 1cm. Every like 1 hour they stick their finger up the vagina, and without epidural, seriously, how to tahan?? So, by 1am, I had my epidural and was so relieved cos the anathestics actually closed shop after me..phew..but it was so numb, I felt I lost my legs. Still, I just drift in and out of sleep in the icy delivery suite.
By 7am next day, gynae came and measure, only 1.5cm dilated, can you believe? So, he broke the water bag and by 9plus, I was 5 cm dilated. Seriously, why didnt he break the water bag earlier and spare me the waiting? Then by 10plus, I was fully dilated. The nurses expression were priceless, cos as I was about to deliver, the one next door was too.They were so shorthanded cos it was a MASS LABOUR DAY!
The nurse tried to help me deliver Nat, but gave up after half an hour cos his head simply cant squeeze through and I am just not pushing in the correct manner. Well, then drama, the nurse dont know call my gynae and said I am in danger, so my gynae rushed up and he was so stern looking. He then assessed the condition and scolded the nurse for giving him inaccurate details of my situation. All I can think about is: Is Nat going to suffocate there? I kept asking Andy, then he just replied:" dont worry, still got umbilical cord there, just relax, just relax". His face so blank and full of worry that I knew it was not a pretty sight actually. He himself also very anxious, but yet have to comfort me.
Finally at 1156, Nat is finally out by suction. It was a split second, "dont close your eyes, dont close your eyes, open your eyes and now..congrats, you have your son!" Before I know it, Nat was lying on my tummy, bare naked, covered with mucus and blood, and I was so stunned!He is so fair!
I thought I would cry, but I didnt. Guess I was just too relieved he is ok, and wanted the nurse to quickly attend to him and make sure he is alright. The I see Andy snapping away with his camera, saying hi to Nat. Nothing taken of the delivery process and the placenta (which I so wanted to see), but only the little baby boy cos Andy thought the whole thing was just a swollen bloody mess that he dont think any of us would want to see again..We chose to donate Nat's cord blood to the public cord bank since we thought we should exercise faith in God for Nat's wellbeing and also to bless some other baby instead. Seriously, if you go for the talks, they will tell you storing it does not guarantee there is enough viable cells for use in the future when the child needs it. So, instead of being selfish or throwing it away, I surely hope some child was blessed by our love gift.
After the epidural went off in like 10mins, my wound felt like they went on a major fire. Burning sensation was terrible and no painkiller will help! So they gave me iced sanitary pad., which only helped after like 1 hour...
The ward was so packed that we only got a room at 2plus, considering some other women had to lay on the op table and parked beside the vending machine along the corridor, I am real lucky to be able to get B class twin sharing that day. Breastfeeding was hard, cos it involves feeding every 2hr and he is so fragile to hold in the correct position. Luckily, my reading up helped and I knew what I had to do, just needed the lactation nurse to help correct the posture and reassure me that I am indeed producing milk.
The story behind Nat's name
Nathanael means the gift from god and it was the one and only name that appealed to me for the entire pregnancy. Even before the gender was confirmed, I knew it was a boy. It is such an apt name since Nat really is a gift from god- I have PCOS and gynae said it was difficult to get pregnant, I had a feeling ever since young that I dont think I would have babies of my own- strange but true and given the threatened abortion, this baby is living proof that God's grace is shown upon us and His grace is sufficient for you.
So, Nathanael, remember how precious you are to all of us and always take heart that you are God's creation, a gift from heaven, packed with love and blessings. It is our daily prayer that you learn to honour God and do His will, blessing and touching lives you come across to everyday.
Full month Dec 2009
The first month was crazy, I was in this robot mode. Cant sleep and just kept doing household chores even though mum was there to help me. Guess cos I felt bad that mum had so much to do, and that she also feel quite stressed and overwhelmed as she usually quite slow with doing things. Still, she is the best! Without her, Nat and I would be in real trouble. I managed to breastfeed thanks to her nutritious meals and support, as well as my Malay massage lady who was such an expert! I slimmed down within a month and the pain in the breast was over in like 5 days. Though breastfeeding is a traumatic experience and I had serious doubts why anyone would pain such a beautiful and untrue picture about breastfeeding when it actually was more painful and ugly. Looking at it now, it is so convenient and you really have time to cuddle your baby while taking a good look at the head, the little angelic face.
Dec was the highly anticipated month since Erjie and Erjiefu were back! Just in time to see Nat. We had so much fun catching up, playing WII as well. Nothing beats having your dear sister back home with you. I often look at the photos taken then and those while they are still here in Singapore. Boy, how sweet are all these memories. Cant wait for Nat to be a little bigger and we can visit Erjie together at her new home in our dream country =)
I must thank all of you in my life who has rendered me support and love, to Andy as well, thank you for going through thick and thin with me, adding so much joy (of cos, sometimes, tears but that is what marriage is about, we care for each other so we iron out issues *winks*) to my life and for working so hard. To you, who is reading this and may be facing difficulties, I hope you continue to have faith that "God has plans to prosper you and not to harm you' and may peace be with us for every day. Amen!
